"Coupon Defense" Becomes The GOP Rage - Is Get Out of Jail Free Card Next?

Thursday, August 11, 2005
 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

"COUPON DEFENSE" BECOMES THE GOP RAGE - IS GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD NEXT? COLUMBUS - Citing groundbreaking theory of law, Gov. Bob Taft's lawyer in today's Toledo Blade told reporters that the Governor did not violate Ohio's ethics laws because he had "coupons" from the exclusive Inverness County Club during his infamous unreported golf outing with Tom Noe. "This must be groundbreaking theory of law," said Gabrielle Williamson, spokesperson for the Ohio Democratic Party. "What's next, a get out of jail free card? Can this Republican scandal get any more ridiculous and insult the intelligence of Ohioans any worse?" To emphasize the hypocrisy of the so-called "coupon defense," Democrats have decided to get ahead of the curve on the creative imaginations of GOP lawyers. "We've fashioned coupons for Tom Noe's friends to help them out of this mess. We personally don't believe they have any value - but who knows, if the "coupon defense" works maybe GOP lawyers can use them too!" said Williamson tounge in cheek. "At some point, the people of Ohio have to say enough is enough. Bob Taft is his golfing buddy, Jim Petro looks like Mr. Magoo seeing nothing until it stares him in the face, Betty Montgomery does her best Sgt. Schultz impression that she knows nothing in her audits, and Ken Blackwell takes Tom Noe's money but acts like he's above this all. So now Ohioans have the infamous 'coupon defense'. These guys belong on Comedy Central."